UPDATES

A Complete List of All Books

In order to celebrate the fact that my debut short story collection, The Great Frustration, will be released in about a month, I have decided to compile a list of all the books that have ever been published. In addition to it being a fun opportunity to promote TGF, I figured it could serve as a scholarly resource (which is pretty much how I think of my blog anyway). Without further ado, here they are in no particular order:

Graham’s French to English Dictionary

The Helicopter Joke Book

Jump-Around Howie’s Big Book of Obvious Riddles

The Panther in the Cauldron: A Diaper Lewis Mystery

A Parent’s Guide to Making Your Children Invincible to Witches

How to Tell Which Children Are Invincible to You: A Witch’s Handbook

Mission to Cars: How to Attend an Auto Show

Dr. Paul d'Artagnan’s Low Calorie Workout

Also:

Phone books

It’s pretty humbling to see all those titles listed one after another. It’s enough to make me realize that The Great Frustration will be little more than a grain of sand in an immense desert. Nevertheless, as far as grains of sand go, it’s going to be awesome. Oh, also: Huckleberry Finn.

Top Five Most Anticipated Books of 2011

It’s that time of year again in which I predict the books we’re all going to be reading and talking about in 2011. My selection process is simple; I base my predictions on a series of questionnaires that are filled out by booksellers and librarians all over the country. The questionnaires are administered, collected, and analyzed by a team of official survey proctors from The Institute of Statistical Mathematics. Those proctors then submit the compiled data to me and I report it to you here as objectively as possible.

1.) The Great Frustration by Seth Fried

Needless to say, I was shocked and thrilled to learn that my debut short story collection is the most anticipated book of 2011. I mean, it’s weird. I worked really hard on the book, and I was confident that people would like it. But to get this kind of validation before the book is even released is pretty overwhelming.

2. A back-up copy of The Great Frustration by Seth Fried

This one came as a pretty big surprise as well. Though, if you’ve dropped as many books in the tub as I have, it makes total sense.

3.) CliffsNotes guide to The Great Frustration by Seth Fried

While I hate to think of students taking the easy way out with respect to my book, the fact of the matter is that my stories are packed with some pretty dense imagery. Without the benefit of a little guidance, my prose could come off as downright intimidating to a young reader. It is for this reason that – with some reservations – I’m glad to see this guide take 2011’s number three spot. Used correctly, I’m confident that it will help enhance people’s reading experience.

4.) Ebook of The Great Frustration by Seth Fried

Ebooks are here to stay people. We all know that making things electronic is the same thing as making them better. Though, make sure to avoid enjoying my ebook if you have a pacemaker or are on a plane that is about to take off.

5.) Sadly, it was discovered during the course of this study that people only buy four books a year. My condolences to any forthcoming title that did not make the list.