Daily Writing Tip #238: Wear A Baby Bjorn With A Hoagie In It

Ron Carlson once wrote, “The writer understands that to stand up from the desk is to fail, and to leave the room is so radical and thorough a failure as to not be reversible.” I agree with this sentiment wholeheartedly. A writer must stay in the room and face the difficulty of the task at hand without giving in to easy distractions. That said, if I stay at my desk too long, my blood sugar drops and I start to describe all of my characters as being “assholes” with “smelly faces.” That’s why I always wear a baby björn with a giant hoagie in it when I write. As soon as I start getting that urge to throw my protagonist down a spiral staircase or to have him be attacked by a swarm of eagles, I just reach down for some hoagie goodness, replenishing my blood sugar without getting up from my desk.

Try to avoid sandwiches with a strong odor, such as egg salad or grilled limburger. These can be distracting while you’re trying to write. Also, they will require you to clean out your baby björn with a pressure hose after each use.